I have sometimes wondered about how the financial standing of my girls’ intendeds would be. I have also worried about the girls be careless in this matter and not find out till it was too late.

Your post has reminded me yet again. I must do something to advice my girls on this. Any suggestions?

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The difference between your upbringing and mine is that my parents never talked to me about finances and how to manage them. I left the house with the expectation that things would simply come to me – easy come, easy go. I didn’t worry about it until I was in debt and getting the collection calls. When I started in the finance industry, I began seeing all the things I’d down wrong. And, my parents were doing the right things, that’s why they could afford to give to us, but they never shared it.

On the one hand, I wish they would have shared more about money with me growing up. I could have saved myself a lot of headaches and sleepless nights. On the other, I am who I am today because I learned the lessons myself, so I can’t begrudge them that.

I think your parents influence you to a point; however, as adults we take on new information and we experience the world in a completely different way than our parents. Because of that, our experiences with money won’t be the same. It’s like the whole nature vs. nurture argument. Yes, our parents will influence us to a degree, but ultimately we make the choice to be one way or the other with our money.

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@Craig, I’ve found it really helps having more than a basic emergency fund. Even if we never touch the money, just knowing that it’s there makes a huge difference for me.

@Penelope, thanks for sharing your post about your family’s history. I think it’s very cool that you and your sister blog together–I like seeing your similarities, differences, perspectives, etc.

@Moneymonk, sounds like he was a good influence, I’m glad!

@Stephanie, that is a little eerie. It’s a good combo, though, for all its periodic stresses. Micah’s having a credit history made it possible for me to get on his credit card. Plus his peace of mind about money helps me relax.

@Andrew, yes, I added those last night. Glad you like them!

@plonkee, I don’t think I’m going to be dropping out of the workforce–still on the 5-year plan to get my MLS and/or MSIS. But I think Micah will be happier knowing that I’m working because I find it fulfilling than because I absolutely have to to make ends meet. Fortunately, the job I have right now is both fulfilling and makes ends meet, so we’re in a good place.

Practically speaking, it’s helpful for you both to be able to live on one of your incomes, but philosophy professors aren’t paid all that much more than librarians (and you should get your certification at some point), so there’s no intrinsic reason why it should be Micah that can potentially support you rather than the other way round. And, all other things being equal, Micah probably has a slightly higher risk of being unable to work through disability before you (he’s a little older, and male, rather than anything sinister).

To give some context, my grandfather had the attitude that his wife shouldn’t have to work, so she didn’t. It worked well until he was made redundant / had to take early retirement and she had to go out to work to help make ends meet. Of course her skills outside the home were pretty rusty at this point and it caused them a few problems. Apparently, this is part of my financial story – and why I wouldn’t be comfortable being *kept*.