It’s Tuesday night and I feel like a bully. As part of the whole facing up to my fears and straightening out my bank accounts project, I opened an ING checking account. It’s been in my plan all along, I just hadn’t gotten around to doing it.
That’s perfectly harmless, of course. But when I was opening it, I wasn’t able to add Micah as a joint account holder. We had a number for him, but he didn’t know a PIN. We tried all the PINs we could think of.
I then checked our other ING and he’d apparently never been more than a “pending” joint account holder on that account.
My theory is that when I set the ING Orange Savings account up in September, I added him as a user. Probably signed him up with his permission. But he probably got an e-mail asking him to verify everything. And since he is Micah-the-great-ignorer-of-email (he’s not untechnological and even has a computer science degree, but e-mail & phones scare him), he didn’t check the e-mail and didn’t realize that action needed to be taken.
That would explain the situation anyway.
Unfortunately, because of identity theft and whatnot, I can’t just call up and straighten this out for him. I handle a lot of that because my phone-phobia is much milder.
So this evening we gave them a call. Quite nice and helpful, only Micah couldn’t remember his PIN and somehow the whole security question thing didn’t seem to work either. However he verified our address and his SSN and DOB…so they’re mailing him a new PIN.
I’m left with an upset stomach and feeling quite bad for putting him through all that. He’s lying down.
I don’t mind generally heading our household on financial matters, but I want our joint accounts to actually BE joint accounts. Sure I handle the money but I want him to be able to handle the money if I go to the hospital or somesuch. Or if he feels like it, I want him to be able to access our money without asking me first.
Have you ever felt like the bully in your relationship, pushing your spouse to do something that had to be done? Doesn’t feel good. In this case, I think a one-time forced phone call is better than nagging or not getting it done at all. But I still don’t feel good about it.