Though I plan to be a good investor, I’ve got an ace up my sleeve when it comes to a retirement plan.
I’ll let you in on a little secret—my sister is going to be supreme ruler of the world. And like all dictators, she’ll be a nepotist and give her family the royal treatment.
I’m not sure when I realized this. It may have been when she always overpowered me as a kid despite my two year advantage. Maybe it was her habit of beating up prison guards in high school. Ok, so that was a Jiu-Jitsu class, but she was still fighting very large guys.
Or her penchant for delivering dictators’ addresses to win speech competitions. And the scarily convincing way she did it.
Maybe it was that copy of The Prince I saw her reading, closely followed by How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator. Do dictators read how-to books? I don’t know…but she does.
It might be her high-powered political science major, or her clever move from vice-president of her college class to president after the president took a “sudden leave of absence.” It might be her wilderness training.
Actually, while all this sounds ominous I think she’ll be a fairly benevolent dictator. Not the kind whose citizens live in fear. It’ll be a fairly peaceful and prosperous time for our nation and the world. Without having to worry about democracy, she’ll have a much easier time solving our problems.
Having recognized her talents, I plan to be as helpful as I can when she takes over the US in about 10-15 years (give the kid some time, she’s only 20). Then all our money worries will disappear, we’ll probably live in nice suites in her compound. Micah’s books will be required reading as will anything I write, like this blog. Oh, and friends of my blog will be remembered.
Of course, when an angry mob overthrows her regime, I’ll probably be taken out and shot. But eh, that comes with the territory.
It’s April 1st, so you think I jest? You haven’t met her. Just you wait and see………….