Though I plan to be a good investor, I’ve got an ace up my sleeve when it comes to a retirement plan.

I’ll let you in on a little secret—my sister is going to be supreme ruler of the world. And like all dictators, she’ll be a nepotist and give her family the royal treatment.

I’m not sure when I realized this. It may have been when she always overpowered me as a kid despite my two year advantage. Maybe it was her habit of beating up prison guards in high school. Ok, so that was a Jiu-Jitsu class, but she was still fighting very large guys.

Or her penchant for delivering dictators’ addresses to win speech competitions. And the scarily convincing way she did it.

Maybe it was that copy of The Prince I saw her reading, closely followed by How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator. Do dictators read how-to books? I don’t know…but she does.

It might be her high-powered political science major, or her clever move from vice-president of her college class to president after the president took a “sudden leave of absence.” It might be her wilderness training.

Actually, while all this sounds ominous I think she’ll be a fairly benevolent dictator. Not the kind whose citizens live in fear. It’ll be a fairly peaceful and prosperous time for our nation and the world. Without having to worry about democracy, she’ll have a much easier time solving our problems.

Having recognized her talents, I plan to be as helpful as I can when she takes over the US in about 10-15 years (give the kid some time, she’s only 20). Then all our money worries will disappear, we’ll probably live in nice suites in her compound. Micah’s books will be required reading as will anything I write, like this blog. Oh, and friends of my blog will be remembered.

Of course, when an angry mob overthrows her regime, I’ll probably be taken out and shot. But eh, that comes with the territory.

It’s April 1st, so you think I jest? You haven’t met her. Just you wait and see………….

{ 2 trackbacks }

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April 5, 2008 at 9:09 am
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

ms. m&p April 1, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Sounds good. It’s about time we have a female dictator.

Four Pillars April 2, 2008 at 12:42 am

I think I might have dated your sister at one time….

Great post for a great day!


Dad April 2, 2008 at 1:15 am

You forgot the army ranger she used to take on. This is an amusing blog to cheer up my day. Thanks. I agree the great day will come.

mrsmicah April 2, 2008 at 7:01 am

I hadn’t heard about the army ranger….hmm..

plonkee April 2, 2008 at 8:09 am

Looks like I might be safe from being first against the wall come the revolution. Hooray.

Your Sister April 2, 2008 at 8:22 am


Christine April 2, 2008 at 10:28 am

Ooh, yes, Beth will rule us all. And in the mean time, I’ll be up here, writing subversive novels and smuggling them South. And of course, if things get to be too much for you, I’ll sponsor your emigration!

fathersez April 6, 2008 at 4:28 am

Hmm….I understand friends of dictator’s family members also get free rides.

Perhaps your sister may consider me as the owner of the only TV station in town. And everyone must watch what we put up.

Or perhaps just tell your sister to ask everyone to contribute $1 into my account daily. I’ll send you the bank account number shortly.

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