We can’t change the past. It’s annoying but good, since we’d always be trying to change something. So what matters is how we orient ourselves in the present for the future.
I don’t know where this week started feeling rough. Sunday was good. Monday wasn’t too bad… Tuesday I had a major let-down at the Library of Congress. I know the week wasn’t good after that.
I’ve just been feeling all kinds of things about everything. I’ve been having some house lust. There are so many lovely houses in our area and as I’ve been walking, I’ve seen more and more. One we saw tonight was just beautiful, it had a yard which was almost a garden. So many daffodils and blooming trees. And the master bedroom opened into a little balcony.
I’ve been wishing that I was in a position where I could spend a month just focusing on one project and see where it took me. A month without having to worry about going to work, finding work, or getting paid… And I know that’s unrealistic at this point in my situation which is ok.
Speaking of writing, I’ve been having some blogger’s block—either I want to write and can’t think of topics or I have some good ideas and no motivation or energy. So then I get frustrated and worried.
I’m feeling guilty about a project I was doing as a favor that got behind schedule (since it was a favor, I didn’t make it a priority, but it should be done by now!).
I think I’ve been feeling lonely. We have a few friends here, but I lost so many friends once I left college. We’ve kept in touch, but I don’t get to see them or hang out. I definitely appreciate my friends online, I just can’t really hang out with them in person.
Also, of course, it’s a particularly grumpy time of the month. *sigh*
So that was me dumping, I guess.
Fortunately, I can determine some of the future by how I approach it. It helped to get all this off my chest…talking about it all with Micah, writing about it. Now that I’ve acknowledged what I’m feeling, I think I can move on better.