We can’t change the past. It’s annoying but good, since we’d always be trying to change something. So what matters is how we orient ourselves in the present for the future.
I don’t know where this week started feeling rough. Sunday was good. Monday wasn’t too bad… Tuesday I had a major let-down at the Library of Congress. I know the week wasn’t good after that.
I’ve just been feeling all kinds of things about everything. I’ve been having some house lust. There are so many lovely houses in our area and as I’ve been walking, I’ve seen more and more. One we saw tonight was just beautiful, it had a yard which was almost a garden. So many daffodils and blooming trees. And the master bedroom opened into a little balcony.
I’ve been wishing that I was in a position where I could spend a month just focusing on one project and see where it took me. A month without having to worry about going to work, finding work, or getting paid… And I know that’s unrealistic at this point in my situation which is ok.
Speaking of writing, I’ve been having some blogger’s block—either I want to write and can’t think of topics or I have some good ideas and no motivation or energy. So then I get frustrated and worried.
I’m feeling guilty about a project I was doing as a favor that got behind schedule (since it was a favor, I didn’t make it a priority, but it should be done by now!).
I think I’ve been feeling lonely. We have a few friends here, but I lost so many friends once I left college. We’ve kept in touch, but I don’t get to see them or hang out. I definitely appreciate my friends online, I just can’t really hang out with them in person.
Also, of course, it’s a particularly grumpy time of the month. *sigh*
So that was me dumping, I guess.
Fortunately, I can determine some of the future by how I approach it. It helped to get all this off my chest…talking about it all with Micah, writing about it. Now that I’ve acknowledged what I’m feeling, I think I can move on better.
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{ 17 comments }
We had similar weeks.
I didn’t write much this week since I didn’t want to write uninspired. I did finally get something off tonight with meaning.
We all go through phases of the blahs. *hugs*
You’re very special and a big part of a lot of people’s day 🙂
I think you’re doing a fine job! And like Emily said, we all get the blahs now and then. My goodness, I do get writer’s block sometimes! Frustrating as all get out!
You’ve got a great blog, and you know you have many who support you. If we lived closer, I’d say let’s go walking and peer into unsuspecting fancy home gardens! 😉
Sounds like you are growing up into life after college. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of friends along the way. As long as you are motivated to achieve your dreams, you will find the energy, especially when you hit your 30s and realize you are closer to retirement.
I would like to hug you right now. <3
Thanks for all the hugs and kind words. 🙂 It made me smile.
I share your house lust. Today as I was driving back from jury duty, I passed through a not-great area with adorable houses (a lot of the 1920-1950s houses in Los Angeles are adorable). I lusted after those houses, even knowing I would never be willing to live in that area, and that I couldn’t afford one of them anyway.
Sorry you’re feeling gronkly!
Got a balcony of your own? Or even a sunny window? Make a run on Home Depot’s garden shop, pick up a handful of bulbs, a pot, and a small bag of potting soil and make your own garden. Who needs a McMansion when you have a $2.50 terra cotta pot?
My Christmas cactus is making a flower! First time it’s bloomed in three years. See…life’s OK. 🙂
Hi Mrs M – It sounds like you do need a break. It is possible that you could even take a couple of weeks off to work on your project? Something new and exciting would probably inspire you.
Mrs M, I totally feel you! Wish we could kick it together in person.
You’re just in a slump 🙁 I get that way too, but things can always get better 🙂 Slumps are there to make us really appreciate the high times
Aww, my dear Mrs. M! I’m so sorry to hear about a sucky week. Work, houselust, loneliness…I sympathize with it all. My week was quite sucky as well (students verbally attacking me about grades, sick, too much work, etc) Let’s try to see each other soon to have face to face good times. You are very special to me and I miss you like a dude!!
Mrs. Micah, I hope you feel better soon. Sometimes, I get into the same rut too. Just trying to do too many things and couldn’t focus on a single thing.
i hope you feel better!!! sometimes the retrospection that comes with the blues in the end helps life get brighter. weird, but true 🙂
Isn’t house lust just a bear? We live just two blocks from the neighborhood we wish we lived in…it’s no good to brood on it. All we can do is focus on what we do have, and make it better. Hope the blahs leave soon!
Ah, house lust. I’ve got the cure – shall I share my plumbing nightmare? 🙂
I can totally relate! I get meloncholy if I spend too much time alone – I prefer solitude, but give me several days in a row to be reflective and I will think myself into a funk.
Would it be possible to plan a day-trip with someone in a neighboring city or have a friend visit? My best friend is coming down to stay with me next weekend for a girls’ weekend (see lives four hours away and is leaving her fiance at home), and I am so looking forward to it!
Perhaps having something fun to look forward to, either with Mr. M or a good friend, will cheer you up and get your creative juices flowing.
Mrs. M,
You sort of summed up my feelings exactly.
Don’t worry, everything will be all right.
Cheers
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