Comments on: Help Me On This: How to Hide Money from an Abusive Husband or Wife http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/ Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:58:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Carl http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-51020 Carl Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:12:07 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-51020 Write a bunch of cashiers checks to yourself and keep them in a safe deposit box. Check with the bank to make sure there isnt an expiration date on cashing the check, if there is, you will have to cash the check before that date. Plus now you can get online banking with an account and have paperless statements sent to you online. Write a bunch of cashiers checks to yourself and keep them in a safe deposit box. Check with the bank to make sure there isnt an expiration date on cashing the check, if there is, you will have to cash the check before that date. Plus now you can get online banking with an account and have paperless statements sent to you online.

]]> By: Riku http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-47730 Riku Sat, 13 Jun 2009 03:10:52 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-47730 #44. Honestly, in a situation like yours, if you're not getting your medicines anyway from your husband, then you might as well take what you can get from the shelter. There's no doubt that it's going to be hard, but it'll be much harder if you end up staying. Your husband doesn't want you to get better, that's why he doesn't want you to have your meds. At least the shelter is some help. Have you tried asking them about getting moved to a different shelter if you end up going back there? Why not contact your kids/people in CT from the shelter? Good luck. The link I added as a board that might be of some help. #44. Honestly, in a situation like yours, if you’re not getting your medicines anyway from your husband, then you might as well take what you can get from the shelter. There’s no doubt that it’s going to be hard, but it’ll be much harder if you end up staying.

Your husband doesn’t want you to get better, that’s why he doesn’t want you to have your meds. At least the shelter is some help. Have you tried asking them about getting moved to a different shelter if you end up going back there? Why not contact your kids/people in CT from the shelter?

Good luck. The link I added as a board that might be of some help.

]]> By: Jacqueline http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-43953 Jacqueline Fri, 24 Apr 2009 09:39:58 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-43953 Hello, I am in an abusive situation and my comments re: these comments are that most of them seem to be extremely unrelated to reality, at least the reality I live in, and I mean absolutely no disrespect at all, because I am very impressed that such a variety of people care enough about this issue to bother to post at all. My mother was severely abused and she did do some of the very same suggestions written here; she took us kids to a friend's during the day when her husband worked, and saved the money from her part-time job that my father never knew she had to leave him so maybe my first comment was overly harsh. I just know that in my situation things like IRAs and saving $5.00 from the grocery money are totally impossible. My husband controls EVERYTHING including every single penny he makes, and I don't work because of health issues. I have left him many times and end up coming back because even though I don't get even close to all my prescriptions with him, I don't get any without him, because in the state we live in, Iowa, there is no Medicaid unless you have kids or are on SSI. Recently I stayed at a shelter here and they were great at support and I told them about my medicine issue, and it turned out to be exactly the same as it is with my husband; they decided what I could and couldn't have, based on what they felt like paying for, and they were trying to make plans for me to stay in Iowa, when I keep telling them, just like I keep telling my husband, that I want to go back to CT where I'm from, where my children are and where I can get Medicaid! I know they were trying to help me but it ended up feeling exactly like I already feel, without the fear of angry outbursts and potential ugliness. So my choices are to stay with an increasingly abusive man with my depression reaching dangerous levels or to leave and be sick and in pain at a shelter somewhere; and having been homeless for 6 years before this apartment, it all just really, really makes me feel so hopeless. The suggestions I read here just don't seem to apply to me. I know this is long and I hope that's ok. Hello,

I am in an abusive situation and my comments re: these comments are that most of them seem to be extremely unrelated to reality, at least the reality I live in, and I mean absolutely no disrespect at all, because I am very impressed that such a variety of people care enough about this issue to bother to post at all. My mother was severely abused and she did do some of the very same suggestions written here; she took us kids to a friend’s during the day when her husband worked, and saved the money from her part-time job that my father never knew she had to leave him so maybe my first comment was overly harsh. I just know that in my situation things like IRAs and saving $5.00 from the grocery money are totally impossible. My husband controls EVERYTHING including every single penny he makes, and I don’t work because of health issues. I have left him many times and end up coming back because even though I don’t get even close to all my prescriptions with him, I don’t get any without him, because in the state we live in, Iowa, there is no Medicaid unless you have kids or are on SSI. Recently I stayed at a shelter here and they were great at support and I told them about my medicine issue, and it turned out to be exactly the same as it is with my husband; they decided what I could and couldn’t have, based on what they felt like paying for, and they were trying to make plans for me to stay in Iowa, when I keep telling them, just like I keep telling my husband, that I want to go back to CT where I’m from, where my children are and where I can get Medicaid! I know they were trying to help me but it ended up feeling exactly like I already feel, without the fear of angry outbursts and potential ugliness. So my choices are to stay with an increasingly abusive man with my depression reaching dangerous levels or to leave and be sick and in pain at a shelter somewhere; and having been homeless for 6 years before this apartment, it all just really, really makes me feel so hopeless. The suggestions I read here just don’t seem to apply to me. I know this is long and I hope that’s ok.

]]> By: Lilly http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-41123 Lilly Mon, 16 Mar 2009 03:43:18 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-41123 #38 If your dad double checks the receipt, overbuy something and return it when he is a work - keep the change. #38
If your dad double checks the receipt, overbuy something and return it when he is a work – keep the change.

]]> By: louise http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-39213 louise Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:06:28 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-39213 Instead of PO Box which is very risky & can be traced, there are safe mail services you can use in some US states: http://www.casafeathome.org/Safe_at_Home_State_Programs.htm Instead of PO Box which is very risky & can be traced, there are safe mail services you can use in some US states:
http://www.casafeathome.org/Safe_at_Home_State_Programs.htm

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]]> By: Al http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-14977 Al Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:58:36 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-14977 Three ideas: 1. Buy EE or I bonds only in your name. No taxes owed until you sell them and they earn decent interest. Do it online and there won't be any paper around for the abusive spouse to find. 2. Open a Roth IRA. You can withdraw your principal anytime with no tax consequences. Or if you need all the money, you should be gone by the time you owe the taxes. 3. Find a hiding place for ready cash around the house. Use your imagination....false electrical outlets in the garage, inside a heater duct, etc. Three ideas:

1. Buy EE or I bonds only in your name. No taxes owed until you sell them and they earn decent interest. Do it online and there won’t be any paper around for the abusive spouse to find.

2. Open a Roth IRA. You can withdraw your principal anytime with no tax consequences. Or if you need all the money, you should be gone by the time you owe the taxes.

3. Find a hiding place for ready cash around the house. Use your imagination….false electrical outlets in the garage, inside a heater duct, etc.

]]> By: Just a girl... http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-14311 Just a girl... Wed, 12 Mar 2008 04:46:48 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-14311 Well, the taking a few dollars from the grocery money is a good idea, but what if they want the change and the reciept when you get back? my dad is very emotionally abusive and always double checks and interrogates me and my mom on every purchase. Well, the taking a few dollars from the grocery money is a good idea, but what if they want the change and the reciept when you get back? my dad is very emotionally abusive and always double checks and interrogates me and my mom on every purchase.

]]> By: MAry http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-13666 MAry Fri, 07 Mar 2008 06:43:28 +0000 http://financefreelancelife.com/2008/02/27/help-me-on-this-how-to-hide-money-from-an-abusive-husband-or-wife/#comment-13666 Get a bank box in someone's name that you trust. Have them keep the key if you can't keep it safe. You could also keep document there. Get a bank box in someone’s name that you trust. Have them keep the key if you can’t keep it safe. You could also keep document there.

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