Leah Ingram

Do splurge on nice outfits for both bride and groom, something you really like. Get your hair done professionally and maybe makeup and nails too. This is a special occasion! If the bride really looks too young in dresses, she might benefit from some advice from a style expert, and this is a good time to do that. However, I’m not saying she has to wear a dress if she doesn’t want to. It’s just that there are a lot of different styles of dresses, and most women look wonderful in them. I really don’t think it matters if you can wear your wedding outfit again or not. Okay if you can, okay if you can’t. Most clothes only get worn for two or three years at best anyway.

The only reason I can think of why you would want to go for a bigger, splashier wedding than you personally desire is if your mother’s heart would be broken not to see you walk down the aisle in a white dress. In that case she should contribute to the cost of it and the wedding as well. One other reason is if you have a lot of friends who will be scarred for life if they’re not invited to your wedding. In that case, again, think hard about what you want. I know lots of people who “eloped” and then had a great party after they got back from the honeymoon. A “party” is a lot less pressure than a “wedding”, and a lot cheaper. But everybody will bring you a present, anyway.

Outdoor weddings are a lovely idea, but the weather has to cooperate. If you live in a place where it never rains, go for it.

Oh, and the cake? Brides and grooms tend to get all hot and bothered about it, but nobody else gives a hoot.

“Make all the favors yourself” and “get your friends to pitch in” are great ideas, if you’re into crafts and really pro-wedding. If you aren’t, and/or you work full-time, then making invitations/favors/decorations is like a second job, and you will hate your wedding by the time it comes around. Also, a wedding is supposed to be a social event that you host, not a party given in your honor by a crew of volunteers. Some people will be really excited to help, but you should wait for them to offer, not ask them. I think it’s more important to be a good host than to have the wedding of your dreams at the expense of your friends.

Ask yourself honestly if you care about favors, flowers, decorations, a DJ, expensive photographs, invitations, etc., and if you don’t then don’t have them. Save your money and sanity. The commitment of the bride and groom is the important part, everything else is extraneous.

*Find a cheap spot for the reception/ceremony. if you are in an area with predictable weather and can have an outdoor wedding, many parks cost close to nothing to rent out and are beautiful spaces with no need for decoration (another savings). where i live there are many parks, gardens, and community spaces that can be rented for very little money and yet are beautiful spots for weddings.

*Do not say you are shopping for weddings stuff. Get quotes first and just say it is for a party. anything for a wedding tends to cost much more. just a wedding markup.

*DIY. do as much as you can yourself and with help of friends and family. we ordered flowers wholesale, bought vases at Michael’s, and did our own table centerpieces for little cost, and it was enjoyable to get involved in that way and design the flowers arrangements myself

*find local musicians to play. we hired a local piano teacher to play piano, and a local band, both at extremely reasonable prices

*depending on your taste you can buy a dress at a nonwedding shop. mine was from a department store and again didn’t have that wedding related markup

*do a daytime brunch or lunch, or have cocktail hour and cake instead of a full dinner. or if having an outdoor wedding, a picnic type theme could work well and you could get food from a favorite deli, rather than have a whole catered and served meal. ordering from a local restaurant can be much cheaper than having a company cater

*DIY bar, buy beer and wine and let people help themselves rather than having a full bar and bartender

*we made our own invites, programs, and thank you cards, designed our own flowers, had cupcakes from a local bakery rather than cake from a bakery that specialized in wedding cakes, had local musicians, rented a city owned spot that was cheaper to rent than a private space would have been, put our favors together ourselves (ordered the components), made luminaries to line the walkway leading to the reception spot, bought my dress and shoes at a department store not wedding type store, and rented a nice car not a limo to drive us to and from the wedding, did own makeup, my mom did my hair.

that’s all i remember now. I LOVE weddings and glad you asked this question!

one imp. suggestion I have for anyone doing it DIY style: you may want to consider hiring someone to take care of everything on the day of so nothing goes wrong, b/c the bride or groom do not want to have to worry about that stuff on the day of the wedding and sometimes family and friends don’t do the best job without someone directing them!

(I might turn this into a post on my blog since it’s so long!)

Other tips:
* It’s easy to find artificial flowers that look great, and you can put them together yourself for 1/10 the cost of fresh flowers from a florist.
* The fewer guests you have, the cheaper everything will be. If she already likes the idea of eloping, why not have a small, private ceremony with only close family (and close friends)?
* If she is a church member, her church will probably waive any rental fee to use their facilities for the wedding.

In the end, the key is for her to prioritize and decide on a few pieces that are really important – then give herself permission to skimp on everything else, because it’s not important!

She could make her own postcards for invitations – much cheaper and less expensive to mail too.