Very late agreement a hundred times over! I don’t like that phrase one bit, and never used it when I was getting married. However, everyone else did and it drove me nuts! That and all the people who would advise my hubby to just “do whatever I say, because it is my day”. GAH! Our wedding was about the BOTH of us and celebrating/sharing with our friends/family! Letting me run right over my husband’s wants would not have been a very good start to a marriage.

Secondly, I paid for my bridesmaids’ matching dresses. The bridesmaids and myself shopped together to find something we were all happy with. I’ve seen them wear their dresses again at church and other events since then. They were fairly cheap, but I’ve grown up with the impression that the bride should always pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses.

Could this thing with bridesmaids paying for their own dresses in the USA be a more recent/generation thing or maybe a regional thing? Almost every bride I know paid for the BMs’ dresses. We also paid for tux rentals for the men, and that was easy with a few awesome 2 for 1 coupons! Did not pay for bridesmaids’ hair/makeup/shoes, but I didn’t care if they differed in those.

A lot of people seem to view weddings incorrectly, especially brides. The wedding isn’t a big party for you and all your fantasies. It can fulfill them, but that isn’t the point, and I believe that belief is why normally rational people can turn into bridezillas. No event is going to go exactly perfect, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just relax and celebrate the beginning of a life together. The marriage is the important thing, the wedding is just gravy.

And a little giggle here, the biggest thing that went wrong on my wedding day? I had trouble sleeping the night before, so I yawned through the entire ceremony. One of my bridesmaids said I looked like I was crying because I kept covering up the yawning with my bouquet. Guess it is better than looking like I was bored!

For myself, my maid of honor is under strict instructions to smack me if I start to sound like a bridezilla. I’m paying for my girls’ hair/makeup and required accessory. If I can swing it, I want to buy their dresses, but I won’t worry too much since I’ve bought dresses for theirs! They can pick whatever they want from wherever they want as long as it’s long black and formal. Other than that I’ll have them each pick their own color and everything else (including bouquets) should stick to that color, black or silver. I want everyone to look like themselves and be comfortable and wear things they like, with just a touch of group cohesiveness.

I think there’s also more sentiment in making your bridesmaid’s dress (as I did) and other wedding elements than in buying them. Plus, keeping costs down leads to greater harmony in the wedding party and helps avoid situations like potogurl’s. Tension and fights aren’t very conducive to wedding sentiment.

are you sure you are not mistaking sentimental value with materialism? i think it sounds like a lot of the previous posters put a lot more thought into their wedding by working to find dresses that fit the theme and did not break their bridesmaids’ banks.