For those of you who are PLANNING to poke holes in condoms, consider this me reaching through the monitor and slapping your face! How can you be so irresponsible, selfish, and thoughtless? You’re not mature enough to raise a kid if you’re tricking people into impregnating you or into getting pregnant. It won’t make him love you more or stay with you if you trap him in an 18-year (life-long, really) commitment (or her). If you’re abused, he’ll abuse the kid too. If you’re doing it to a woman, you deserve another slap because of the pregnancy/labor or abortion she’ll have to go through. And if you’re planning on doing it to a pair of people, then you’re really going to hell. Talk to Dr. Phil or someone because you need help.

Just a lil’ PSA—condoms are a great method of birth control, but they break sometimes. So have backups like spermicide and the pill or use them when you’re not supposed to be fertile.

I’m 99.9% sure everything’s ok. Otherwise our lives are about to get a heck of a lot more interesting.

Wouldn’t that be so awkward for the kid, though? I mean, you don’t tell them–but if they found out….

Tying this in to personal finance, it’s a lot cheaper to buy condoms and spermicide than it is to pay for 18 years of raising a kid and possibly college. Don’t skimp on prophylactics.

Til’ next time, this has been Mrs. Micah—looking out for your reproductive system.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Jess December 9, 2007 at 9:36 pm

It’s also a lot cheaper to go to the drug store and get Plan B now that it’s available behind the counter without a prescription….just to further reduce chances.

mrsmicah December 9, 2007 at 9:40 pm

True. While I’m in favor of Plan B for people who’ve been raped and the like (I especially like the fact that it does a lot to prevent conception, not just implantation, which means that people with certain religious qualms can feel better about it), I’m not sure I’d want to use it in this case.

Patrick December 9, 2007 at 9:46 pm

Don’t forget the pill. πŸ˜‰

mrsmicah December 9, 2007 at 10:05 pm

Actually, Jess, I’m 100% sure I’m not fertile today almost as sure that I won’t be tomorrow morning (I track this kind of thing). But Plan B could prevent conception if my cycle speeds up and I become fertile in a couple days (should be at least 5 days, but there’s always the off month). Hmm.

JvW December 9, 2007 at 10:30 pm

Well, I hope whatever you want to happen is what happens :). I know for us having a baby would throw us for quite the loop!

mrsmicah December 9, 2007 at 10:32 pm

Us too…a snuggly, happy, lovely, stressful loop. Not all bad.

Pamela December 9, 2007 at 10:45 pm

I worked with a kid who was conceived because his dad thought it would be fun to poke a hole in the condom before using it. I don’t know if he ever felt like he was unwanted (we never discussed it that much), but it can be presented as, ‘We weren’t planning on having a baby at the time we had you, but we’re sure glad things didn’t go as planned.’

Thanks for smile. I’m in the midst of finals week and needed it!

mrsmicah December 9, 2007 at 10:48 pm

I hope his mom knew too. It’s a bit funnier that way. I was watching Dr. Phil talk about Babies the other day–and he said that while he hadn’t been sure he wanted to have the second son, he can’t imagine life without him. I expect that’s how it is for a lot of people.

glblguy December 10, 2007 at 6:05 am

One of ours was unplanned. We just call him our surprise gift πŸ™‚

Oh, and the return on your investment of 18 years is the best investment you will ever make.

Thanks for the PSA…If you want I can send you an affiliate link for πŸ˜‰

Andrew Stevens December 10, 2007 at 5:22 pm

I was my mother’s fourth child. After she had her third, she had a miscarriage and was told she shouldn’t have another baby. I was unplanned and accidental. (Immediately after I was born, my mother had a tubal ligation, since another pregnancy could have been very dangerous to her.) Knowing this never in the least traumatized me, even when I was quite small. I don’t know if I’m typical though.

Mark @ TheLocoMono December 11, 2007 at 11:44 pm

I was beginning to wonder what this had to do with personal finance until you mentioned the cost of having kids. So true.

mrsmicah December 12, 2007 at 9:15 pm

Yeah. Condoms vs. kids. I’m not saying kids aren’t rewarding, but the former are cheaper until you’re ready.

MITBeta @ Don't Feed the Alligators March 26, 2008 at 3:21 pm

As someone who used to sell condoms for a living, I can tell you this: Most condom failures are due to improper use. Most people are never taught how to properly use a condom.
My advice: Never try to use 2 at once, and ALWAYS use a good lubricant, both inside and outside of the condom.
Good luck!

mrsmicah March 26, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Ours only break in one position. *blush* Now that we’ve figured that out, it helps a lot.

Kelly from Almost Frugal September 18, 2008 at 4:26 pm

I love this comment thread, Mrs M! Thanks for making my evening.

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