What can I say? I have been here for six weeks. I eat three meals a day (at the “cafeteria for losers” that everyone I know goes to) and we only do corporate exercise at 5 am on Monday mornings.

During the first four weeks, however, we did this Monday through Friday. We also quit sugar. How heinous! Why on earth would anyone want to discipline and master their own body? Yeah, so, it was TOUGH. I came here fresh and fattened out of a lifestyle of constant drinking, smoking weed, popping pills, and having promiscuous sex. I weighed 189 pounds. Now I weigh 180 pounds and the weight’s going to keep coming off– how horrible, huh? Now I have my sugar intake under control and drinking, smoking, and pill-popping disgusts me. ISN’T THAT JUST TERRIBLE?

You say your nephew doesn’t have a car— the majority of interns don’t. Food is not an issue if you’re not afraid of going to the “cafeteria for losers”. Not just that, but I can’t tell you how many interns I know lend their cars out to other interns. You can survive. I don’t have a car and I am just fine.

You say he “works hard for no money”– I don’t know if you’re aware, but that holds true for any internship. People do internships because they give them experience, among other things. I’ve only been here six weeks, but I can say I am growing socially, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I am gaining direction for my life, far away from all the noise of the media and messed up friends.

The average Honor Academy intern graduates a responsible, disciplined, focused, confident, and purposeful individual who knows they have destiny and understands their life has meaning. Free from emotional, physical, and sexual addictions, they conquer the world. That is why I am here. I am tired of the world conquering ME.

If you think there’s something wrong with that, then you are simply foolish.